Do you have a long list of "shoulds" that you're not necessarily prioritizing, but you know you should be doing? Do you struggle with guilt and feelings of not being good enough? If so, you're not alone!
Today, I share a technique that has helped me in the past and could help you too. It involves going deeply into your desire to rest and hide, instead of fighting it.
I explain how you can give yourself permission to fully embrace this feeling and shift your mindset to a place of productivity.
So, if you're feeling stuck and overwhelmed by your list of “shoulds” be sure to watch this video and try out this method for yourself!
Video Transcript
So today I want to talk about what to do or one method that you can try if you are feeling stuck in some sort of rut. So whether that is a feeling of intense tiredness and yet, you know you’ve got work to do, you know you should be creating content or doing X, Y or Z in your business.
You've got this like long list of shoulds that aren't necessarily priorities, but things that, you know you should be doing or you feel like you should be doing. And yet you cannot summon the motivation or the energy to actually get on with it. That's the kind of mood that I want to speak to today in this video, because that is the exact mood that I was in this morning when I woke up.
Whether you can tell or not, as I'm recording this episode, I have not brushed my hair. I'm still in my pyjamas and honestly, this morning I was really beating myself up that I didn't feel energized, that I didn't feel like I wanted to leap out of the bed and just get on with things and continue with my plan for world domination and all that kind of BS rubbish, basically.
So yeah, I was feeling really guilty about it. And to be honest for me, I would say I do struggle with resting. I tend to feel quite guilty if I'm not doing anything. Feelings of shame and not-good-enough-ness definitely creep in, potentially because I identify as somebody who is like a high performer to a certain extent (maybe less now!) but definitely like if I think back to school, I was a straight-A student.
Yeah, really kind of used to performing at the top of my game. So when I'm on or having those days where I don't feel at the top of my game, it can really not only affect me sort of like physically as in I feel tired, but also mentally and emotionally. I can go to a pretty dark place and start saying some mean stuff to myself, but a technique that I want to share with you is actually and I learned this...
I don't know, maybe like three years ago and I can't remember where I heard it, but basically it was somebody said that when you find yourself with this kind of desire to rest or this desire to kind of really hibernate and hide, one method that you can use to get out of it is to actually go deeply into it.
So give yourself permission to fully hibernate. Give yourself permission if you're feeling like “I don't want to do it!” Go and like basically throw a little tantrum, stay in bed, like pretend time doesn't exist, pretend clocks aren’t a thing. Pretend there is no schedule that you are on and really sort of embrace that feeling of wanting to rest, wanting to just hide from the world.
And part of the sort of reasoning behind this that she shared at the time and that I kind of have learned since myself is that if we allow ourselves to fully embrace it, it doesn't take long for that to actually shift. So if it's like, I just don't want to do anything, well then really like don't do anything and see how long it takes before you get bored is the essential takeaway.
But the key here is that when you actually go into that state of hibernation or rest, actually do it. So don't half do it. Don't like put your body into a rest state and yet keep your mind working. Keep your mind obsessing over things like pick up a book, find something to truly switch off not only half, because I think this is something, if you are similar to me, this is something that we probably do a lot where we might be like, “Yeah, I'm going to have a lie in this morning.” and yet from the moment we wake up, even if we're still in bed, our brain is already going a hundred miles an hour. And therefore, because of the way our incredible body and brain works together, our body essentially simulates the emotions and the feeling as if we're actually working.
And so we're lying in bed because we're trying to chill out, and yet what we discover is that we're full on experiencing stress as if we were at work. However, for me, it's usually even worse than that because I'm experiencing the stress, but I'm not actually doing anything to solve that work. So instead I'm stuck in this like little cycle of, “Oh my God, I should be resting but I'm thinking and I should be doing that because I'm not doing it.” I'm not actually getting myself out of this position and I'm stuck in this kind of infinite loop of beating myself up and not feeling good enough. So instead, what I recommend is what I did this morning is fully switch off and if you find yourself where your thoughts are unstoppable, investigate different techniques that are going to work for you to help shut those thoughts off.
So whether it's meditation, whether it's doing an hour of journaling, whether it's reading a book, whether it's watching something on TV, like intentionally choosing to watch something, and if you really kind of go fully into it. What I have found is that it really does not take long for me to start to actually get bored or start to be like, “Oh, you know what?
I actually might just go do that thing now because I've managed to shift that state.” I've managed to sort of indulge the desire to rest enough that I'm then prepared and ready to go back to doing the things that I should be doing. But the difference is that I'm actually shifted to a state where I want to be doing them because A) I’m either bored or B) I've managed to calm my nervous system down enough that I can get excited about the task at hand instead.
So I just wanted to really keep this pretty short and sweet today and invite you if you are in that feeling of “God, I just wish I could do nothing today. I really want to just go and hide. I want to stay in bed all day. I don't want to show my face.” Like, yeah, do the bare minimum! I know sometimes that's not always practical.
And obviously I speak from a position of not having children. So I do have certain luxuries in my life that I know parents may not, but even if you can find within your day a period of time where you truly do nothing, but don't bring your phone to that nothing party! Leave your phone somewhere else. Give yourself an opportunity to fully switch off.
Embrace that emotion, go deep into it, and then just see how do you feel? How long does your body need and your mind need to actually rest? Because I again have found that usually if I don't do this, like if I tried to push through, then that feeling of discomfort tends to persist longer than if I actually give myself permission to fully, you know, go off grid for while.
It's usually not as long as you mentally might think it will be. Your body just needs a moment of relief, a moment of respite from the incessant thoughts that you are feeding it. So yeah, that's what I wanted to share with you today from my unbrushed hair, pyjama state and hope that it maybe will serve you as well as it serves me.
But remember the key is to actually switch off. That’s Button joining the party here. So that's where I am leaving it today. And where I usually say go get creative... oh, Button. Button, stop it! Where I usually say go get creative, take messy action, and don't forget to have fun with it. Today I'm going to say, go get lazy, take intentional non action and don't forget to indulge it.
